Thursday, February 28, 2013

Haters Love to Hate

Not that I feel badly for the people of Hollywood or I don't think they deserve some of the ridicule they get, but the only way the Oscars are ever going to relive the glory days is if you take them away. Not from the artists. Not from the celebration, but stop making it the media circus it has become and let everyone celebrate quietly. We don't air the Nobel Prize winners, we don't showcase all the awards journalists give themselves. Just stop televising it and guess what, people might be interested again or at least nice.

Basically the telecast is too big for its britches. They have turned it into a Broadway show with a lame throughline. Cap that with the fact that the whole country, no wait, the whole WORLD has a love/hate relationship with Hollywood and is it any wonder that no host, no show, no anything can get a good review? Sans just chucking the awards at the peope's heads and doing away with speeches altogether, there really isn't a way to make the show shorter.

The Academy Awards need a revamp from start to finish. If a small ceremony is good enough for the techies, why can't that be good enough for the people whose faces are in the limelight 24/7 anyway? Throw them a ball, celebrate the movies and put it on the web. Then everyone can watch the bits they care about and move on. There are only about five awards anyone cares about anyway, anyone outside the biz that is. While I do believe the behind the scenes people deserve their moment in the sun, I also think those developing green energy, saving the lives of children, on peacekeeping missions the world over, discovering medical miracles and many others deserve to be recognized. Let's discard the arrogance of awards season and move on.

Just think about the real marketing opportunities of moving it to the web. People could instantly buy and download all the movies. They could watch the shorts for a small fee. They could see behind the scenes of why the editors matter. More than anything those who went to watch would care and would be nice. It is great that artistic and meaningful movies are shown, but the Academy Awards used to be big when people saw all the movies that were nominated. Back then 25 movies came out a year, if that. Then you have universal interest. It's not possible today. You have box office winners and independent films. Occasionally the two cross over but not often. In those cases everyone knows about them anyway.

Like much of the entertainment business, the model has to be adjusted. Of course, some could argue that no press is bad press and Twitter and Facebook were alive with people who wanted to hate on the show. It did have it's moments. I mean, Kristen Stewart should really lay of the drugs before she presents. Hollywood should be willing to laugh at itself and know that the comment about a "woman never letting anything go" when combined with the fact it is the reason Bin Laden is dead is funny. That Joaquin Phoenix is a freak, what was up with him!? That Channing Tatum should have been the cohost, it might not have worked with Franco, but Tatum can dance! Jennifer Lawrence probably fell on purpose, look at all the press she got when they thought she had a "wardrobe malfunction;" she's not dumb. Daniel Day Lewis was the funniest person of the night, he should have come on earlier. Jack Nicholson should be able to afford a tux that fits. Michelle Obama was stunning, but either be there or don't, the weird White House appearance? Ugh. And if you are going to sing, sing! Don't go out and lip sync badly, Catherine Zeta-Jones, especially when Adele is going to make you look like a punk!

Whatever you may think of the Oscars, it is never going back to the glory days. It is a fun awards show full of people who help to illuminate parts of the world and stories that might otherwise go untold. With all the familiarity in the world now, the show is outdated and will continue to be so until they either scale back all the other shows or shake up the situation and make it a private affair.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Super Bowl, God, Randy Moss and the Best Damn Halftime Show Ever

Much will be written today about the Super Bowl last night. The jokes on Twitter about “oops it was me” and Beyonce’s curling iron regarding the power outage were endless. Though I did like the Mark Hoppus reference, “if you like it then you should have put a fuse in it,” good reference without being on the nose, #nailedit, I agree. Whether you were for or against the “good team” (49ers) you have to be looking at that final drive and the pass interference with skepticism. Has football turned into the WWE? Of course, San Fran should have not been in that place, they should have done more earlier, but in the end the Ravens won and Michael Oher has a Super Bowl ring, not all bad.

Personally I would like to discuss all this talk lately of getting rid of extra points and field goal kickers because they “aren’t real athletes” and the game should be decided by “real football players” (insert random soccer comment here). First Take has hit this topic over the head all week. Okay, last night’s final five minutes had nothing to do with real football players but rather how to best run down the CLOCK. So, what kind of athlete is the clock? What kind of training does this time piece go through? You cannot on one hand say that it is an unfair advantage (3 points) and ignore the way coaches work the clock. It has become a part of the game and it is far more ridiculous than the “non-talent” (their words not mine) of the kicker. At least they do something!

Next God. Ray Lewis, you had two weeks to figure out how to best thank God without being a douche. Saying “when you have God on your side” in any format with any words behind it is inappropriate. Thanking God above all else is fine but acting like the heathens on the other side of the field have no relationship with God is ridiculous and that an all-powerful being as somehow anointed you is pure hubris. On that note, if God did have anything to do with this football game it was to deny the ego of Randy Moss (who dared say he was greater than Jerry Rice) a Super Bowl ring. As long as Randy Moss is on the 49ers it is unlikely they will win the Super Bowl if God has anything to do with it and Jerry Rice is laughing in his head, you know it!

And finally, the halftime show. Not only did Beyonce bring it, but the singing and dancing made the whole thing just plain fun and entertaining. Like the halftime used to be before nip slips and old people took over (Mick Jagger). Everyone is up in arms about Destiny’s Child being forced to sing a Beyonce song, the mean comments all over Facebook talk about what a horrible person she must be. Seriously!? Would either of those girls been invited to sing at the Super Bowl if it wasn’t for her? I don’t even know their names! They got to perform at the Super Bowl, their stock just went up and they looked and sounded great. I don’t think wanting to sing one of her biggest hits, one that got the whole crowd roaring is something to be sad about. Now losing the Super Bowl…that’s something to be sad about. Poor Jim Harbaugh…so close, yet again!