Monday, March 31, 2014

One Too Many, Surprising Results

It is rare that I wouldn't do absolutely anything for my husband, but the other night we encountered my limit. He got himself in a bit of a pickle by engaging with a comedian on stage. One drink too many and my usually shy, adorable husband decided going toe to toe with someone who makes fun of people for a living was a good idea. Not wise.
Now I knew what he wanted but he was not as clear to the rest of the room opening himself up to ridicule. The thing is he went all in. He actually stood up and kept going. I have to admit I was slightly impressed. That being said when our friends leaned over and asked if I was going to go get him I looked at then like they were the nuts. I was sitting there thinking nothing more than, "please don't ask if he's with someone. And for God's sake if he does please don't let him refer to any of us! "
I can claim I was taking the high road here. On the very rare occasion that Chris has one too many beers I become public enemy numero uno. He will do anything to spite me in that moment and I am known as the fun-sucker. My friend Craig would say that's karmic retribution as my drunk alter ego,  Lily, tends to do exactly the wrong thing and is a bit belligerent. Someday I'll tell the story of the late night skinny dipping and the broken nose.
With that in mind,  me getting up to do anything would have ensured us getting kicked out and led to more ridicule. So I simply shook my head and let it play out. It wasn't too bad. I am grateful he didn't fall over on Dr. Drew,  just gave him a nice slap in the back like they are the old friends that they clearly are. Of course the real reason I did nothing was I wasn't about to open myself up willingly to whatever observation was sure to come my way,  I prefer anonymity.

The glare of the next morning came all too soon. We had a lunch date and my husband willingly offered to go clothes shopping. Taking him shopping is tantamount to trying to get a four-year-old in nice clothes,  it never ends well and is rarely worth the frustration. But you see, getting ready for the show we had been in a rush and Chris had put on my least favorite pair of pants,  Harbaugh like khakis,  ugh. I didn't notice until too late so I was stuck with the choice.  Well, his lack of fashion sense was most of what the comedian made fun of so suddenly I have a newly dressed man. Thank you Jim Jeffries for not only fixing the clothing problem but also proving I was right to just stay out of it. I am certain the last thing Mr. Jeffries ever intended was to prove a girl right.

You should watch the show: