I am a huge football fan. I must admit that I lean a bit more toward college ball, but I gather with my friends almost every Sunday to watch games. It is really about the bad jokes, Frank Gore’s Penis, F**** Julius and a variety of inappropriate jokes that makes it fun. My life turned into an the Super Bowl episode of “How I Met Your Mother” when they had to wait to watch the Super Bowl recorded.
My husband was called into work the night before so he
wasn’t going to be awake in time to watch the game. In addition, my best friend
Carrie was in from North Carolina. Carrie and I mesh on many levels, my love of
sports is not one of them. With limited girl time, I couldn’t bail early to
watch a football game in which none of my teams were even playing. That being
said, why did I care about the Super Bowl? If I wasn’t going to be at the
party, it couldn’t matter; yet somehow it did.
I told myself I didn’t care, no big deal. I hate the Sea-Thugs anyway. When my husband
suggested we Tivo the game and watch it later I was fine with it. Honestly I
figured I would see something and just pretend I didn’t…it’s just a little
white lie, right? Chris saw the look on my face and called my lie before the
lie. He challenged me to not see anything. It was like the grown-up version of
a double-dog dare. Challenge accepted.
My first order of business was to call Craig, the only
Patriots fan amongst those at my usual football party spot. No calls or texts
during the game as I was on delay. That took care of a big part of the
potential problem; it also got me laughed at, but that’s beside the point. It’s
easy enough not to sign into Facebook, Instagram or things like that during the
game, besides I was with Carrie.
We tooled around Los Angeles, I averted my eyes from the TV
whenever there was one. You don’t realize just how many TVs are around until
you are trying not to watch them. I turned my phone to “hide” so text messages
merely came on the home screen as whom they were from, no hint as to what the
sender had typed.
For dinner, we chose a sushi place. Japanese should be safe,
right? Wrong... TVs lined the one wall and then two were over the bar. Lucky
for me the distance made it so I would have to really focus to see the score
and I managed to listen quite intently to everything Carrie had to say so as
not to hear anything. By the way, also shocking. Places that play football all
season don’t put the sound up, but Super Bowl Sunday, it is blaring everywhere!
Said my good-byes to Carrie and started on my way home. I
went to turn on the radio and realized that was a very bad idea. Silence in the
car, I don’t think I have experienced this ever. No radio, no phone just
driving. I lived, barely. Left to my own devices my road rage can get a bit out
of control. But there was no traffic, so the general public was safe.
The next challenge was turning on the TV and not seeing who
had won. The new menu on Tivo is cool, but it shows the current image in a small
window next to the list of programs. So while I could mute it or pause it, I
was still going to see a little picture in the corner that may just give it
away. Solution: squinch up your eyes super tight. Just enough to make out the
list and enough to see what program is highlighted. Success…we started the
Super Bowl and knew nothing.
Then the phone started buzzing. I glanced down and saw it
was from my brother. I quickly picked up Chris’s phone, texted my brother from
there to say I wasn’t reading his text because I didn’t know who won yet.
Tragedy averted.
We did it, we made it through the whole game without any
information. We experienced it as everyone else did and were equally shocked by
the ending. It was actually quite nice to live in a little bubble. To be a
small party of two with our own little reality for a short time. Honestly, I
don’t think we could have made it another hour without something leaking
through.
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