I'm not Having Kids...It's Like Recycling

I accepted long before I got married people lack creativity when striking up conversation. This means no matter what milestone you hit they press to find out when you plan on hitting the next one. The obvious path for a relationship moves from couple to engagement to marriage to kids. The very moment you marry everyone asks, “when are you going to have kids?” Many couples have a predetermined answer for this as they expect the question the same way I do. I know they think but don’t speak, “give me a break, let us just be married for awhile,” but alas, others want a real answer. Press forward, keep paddling.

My husband and I had the obligatory conversation about children ultimately deciding it is not our thing. If you ever want to send a person into utter confusion as to what to say next, say you plan on NOT having kids. There’s nowhere to go with that. It’s actually a bit of fun to watch them struggle for a moment. But when they gather their wits the next obvious question hits you like a ton of bricks, “why not?” There are a plethora of reasons, some private some public as to why we decided not to have kids. Why does any person, especially one not in my inner circle think I should go through my entire life decision process with them? I find myself tempted to say something rude but that would not be fair, no need to insult them with a good, “why on Earth would you choose to saddle yourself with the financial and physical burden of children for the REST OF YOUR LIFE?” I, personally, am still wrapping my head around “forever” with my mate, a needy child sounds complicated. This answer irritates people.

I believe I stumbled across my new response to the question thanks to one of my favorite writers, David E. Kelley. Most people think of writers as the authors of books whereas in my world many of them create the visual accompaniment to my life via television. I am acutely aware of those who can write to my very mood and soul and Mr. Kelley has long done this with things like Ally McBeal, The Practice, and Boston Legal.

Currently he resurfaced to use his genius in a show entitled “Harry’s Law.” I found my inspiration. You see the greatest threat to the safety of our world and our resources is not global warming, the desecration of the rain forests or the massive use of plastic. The greatest threat to our precious Earth is over population. In the immortal words of David E. Kelley, “You can drive your Priuses, use your curly cue light bulbs, and recycle all you want, it still won’t save the planet. (sic) China’s one child law is actually the most progressive environmental law ever written." Nice! We all know when this law was in effect it was a disgrace as the people killed female babies. I would never condone such behavior but the rule of only having one child would really cut down on the growing population problem, we could actually decrease our numbers! If everyone accepted the child they had we could make a real difference, bigger than recycling. So I am doing my part, saving the planet by recycling and NOT having kids. Aren’t I environmentally golden!?