The Bride at Every Wedding and the Corpse at Every Funeral

I never knew my grandmother could be so profound yet succinct at the same time, but when she threw out the statement that I made the title of this blog it just made me laugh. We all know people who can be like this. They suffer from a constant need to be the center of attention. Now I know we are all guilty of such behavior some of the time. Those conversations where you can't help but drive it back to your exciting news or tale of horror, but the people I am speaking of are exceptional. Some might even call them psychotic or narcissistic personalities. I tend to deal just fine with those who are "me, me, me" as long as they are positive "me, me, me's." Heck, I work in the film business, I best be used to it or find another gig. But when the constant spotlight is a focus on everything negative and every little moment can be turned into a trauma drama I tune out, I have no patience for it. An even greater irritant than negativity, pretending to do something for others when really it is all about you and what you want.

Problem is, as a grown-up, you do not always get to control who is in your world. No magic wand appears on your eighteenth birthday allowing you to banish anyone you find unacceptable. You don't get to shout from the rooftops or just duck down the hall in the hopes the person didn't see you. It becomes your responsibility to adapt, to cope, to find a way to co-exist without becoming a story on the evening news; you know the one where all the neighbors said how nice you were and they could never imagine you had a pile of bodies in your basement. I think it might behoove us to look a bit deeper into some of these serial killer's pasts and discover what person drove them to it. Some might have been born that way but others were pushed to the edge, I am certain of it.

Some would argue this is just evolution, adaptation is key to survival. But I believe it is contrary to evolution. These limelight thieves should be pushed directly out of any light, starved for attention until they learn to live with other three dimensional people. Moreover they should learn to play nice. Unfortunately these squeaky wheels seem to get EXACTLY what they want. The proverbial 15-minutes of fame now applies to anyone with a flip camera and a willingness to look like an ass.

Instead of starving these people, we feed the machine creating a greater and greater monster. It's like the Hydra Hercules had to fight or a cracked out version of "Heathers." As we as a country continue to grow more and more out of control with rewarding bad behavior, I wonder the fate of young people. I find it bad enough for me to have to deal with these so called "adults" who act like infants and that was before we grew up in a culture where this kind of jealous-ridden behavior was status quo. Can you imagine what the terrors of the future will be like? Faye Dunaway, Joan Crawford, David O'Russell, and Donald Trump will look like kittens. Must we send children to live in a convent, probably not. Another country might work, one where people go do things instead of sitting in and watching others do things. I guess I should be grateful that my adaptation merely requires checking caller ID and biting my tongue. Maybe this is why no one has invented teleportation, what excuse would you have then?