Thursday, May 9, 2013

I am a Grown Up, but I am Not a Mother

I know it sounds silly, but I am totally offended by all the email I get assuming I am a mother. I know I am a woman of a certain age and there are a plethora of sites out there giving my demographic information to others. I also know that by the nature of some of the things I buy for other people's children it could be deduced by a computer that I am a mother, but it just isn't so. Does that make me a lesser person? Even worse, this has suddenly happened since I have been married. Just because I got married I have to have kids!? Why isn't my husband getting this addressed to "Dad?"

Parents work hard and I respect their choice, but why jump that very wide gap to assume everyone procreates? I love celebrating the many moms in my life. They have shaped my life and they make it wonderful everyday. This includes my friends who are mothers, my real mothers and even my aunts. There are so many mothers I respect out there, I feel like a cheat being called something I am not. I don't "deserve a day" or want to be sent accolades for things I don't do. And it isn't just this time of year, I constantly get things that ask me if I need a break from my kids. If you mean my husband, maybe....kidding.

It seems that in the world of social media it isn't that difficult to find out who is really a mom and who isn't. What if I wanted to have kids and simply could not? Then every time I open my email I am accosted by being called mother, reminding me I am not one? It seems that it would behoove these companies to be a little more careful with what they send out. Truth is 90% of the women who are my age and are married are probably parents, but not everyone is. This isn't a PC thing, I am not into "titles" this is just a fact. I am a woman, not a mother and that doesn't make me any less important. I can tell you, I have never seen anything in my husband's email box that assumes he's a Dad.

I am not trying to make a mountain out of a molehill, but when you have jackasses like the CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch (I refuse to use his name, jackass is more than he deserves) is telling women what is attractive after his face has been distorted by what I can only assume was a bargain basement plastic surgeon, I feel like the assumptions of the world are more dangerous than the facts. More than ever before the world of big business is trying to target their marketing and they seem to be doing a worse and worse job. As women we get pigeonholed into what we are supposed to be: thin, married, mother, chef, party girl, shopping guru, why not just ask me? Why try and grab my attention in a way that could backfire? Just tell me the facts and let me decide for me.

Let's not forget that this comes on the heels of me just resenting things being sent to my email in the first place. I took the time to finally get rid of all the crap in my box. 32000 emails later and an attempt to "unsubscribe" to everything I am bitter that my name and information is passed around. Even worse, Tookie Clothespin is apparently a mother too. A made up name I gave one time to one store that now appears constantly in my inbox. Sure you don't sell my data, because Tookie is totally what my license says.

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